Month: September 2011

What Hurts the Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

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On Being Lost…

It’s been cold. It’s made my knees weak and my bones brittle. Walking down the pavement is almost next to impossibility. Aside from the aches, I  see no light, no direction. I am lost. And frail.

This has been my state since the heat of summer. At first, I managed to get by. But, the emptiness has gotten the best of me. I started feeling out of place. I started shunning from people around. My focus has been shaken up since. I was disincentivized.

I just wanna stay put. I don’t wanna move in this labyrinth of suffering and discomfort. Every move I make only causes more sears.

I’m almost at my breaking point. Trying to fill up the hole with something else has not helped. Everywhere, I felt like I’m no good.

Still, I know I will be okay. But it won’t be soon.